The “Good Girl” syndrome affects many women. From childhood we are or are not taught about sexuality and intimacy. We hear all about the things we should or should not do in and out of wedlock. And the list of things that we should never do, even if we are married, seems longer than what is “okay” or acceptable for us to admittedly enjoy.  It’s no wonder many of us are afraid to touch ourselves or to truly blossom into our sexuality.  We grow to be stifled by fears of losing our partners respect or admiration from causing them to think we are less than that “good girl” impossible standards we hold ourselves to.

I don’t know how many times I heard “good girls don’t do those kinds of things”. The truth of the matter is that sexuality is a part of everyone’s life. We grow up watching movies, hearing stories of friends’ encounters, and it only heightens our curiosity of the unknown pleasure, making us feel guilty of our thoughts.  By keeping these negative feelings of sex and our bodies, it can hinder all aspects of your relationship.  Never being satisfied our selves or being able to satisfy our partner leads to a lot of frustration and added stress when sex can easily be used to break those barriers and engage each other in a new way.

I learned to break my good girl syndrome by knowing myself first. I was too scared to be with another, I was raised that sex was for marriage. Well, often times not knowing what is to come or what to do with any of it weakens our bond both intimately and sexually to our partner. I began thinking about the sexual desires I yearned for, experiences I dreamt of having someday. I realized that I have to take the first step into myself. I thought about everything, what would a guy say, what would my parents say, even my religious beliefs. In the end I realized that I had to be comfortable with myself before anything else. At the time I was deeply in love, talking with my partner about my feelings lead our relationship to a deeper love on all levels. At first I felt guilty about disobeying what I was taught my entire life, but like looking through a crystal ball I saw my life differently.  It was not about what everyone else does or says to do; it’s about me, my life, my feelings, and happiness.

Breaking your good girl syndrome does not mean you are a bad girl. Gaining an understanding of sexuality and its role in life brings on more intimate and loving care in all relationships.  The sexuality of a woman is the most amazing quality created. You can use your sexuality to bring your life new meaning and happiness. Being able to come out and speak to your partner or bring on a sexual act that you desire will make your relationship flourish.  Your partner will realize the love you have for them in sharing this with them, and your walls of guilt will break down for the pleasure to shine through. Sex will no longer be a worry or chore that needs to be done. It can become your favorite activity with only feeling of satisfaction.

Do something today to break away from the chains of being a good girl.  Become the luscious women you were meant to be by indulging yourself in your lusty cravings.  There is freedom and exciting adventures in store for those of us that can take charge of our own sensuality and satisfaction.  You, and all of us, deserve it!