***  Empowering Sexuality in Verbal Form is submitted to us by Bob Nicoll, Chief Paradigm Shifter. Remember the Ice…and Other Paradigm Shifts.  Thank you Bob!  Everyone here at HappyHer.com really appreciates these words of wisdom!

There is an ad for an erectile dysfunction remedy on TV.  It shows a couple involved in singular activities, yet wanting to be intimate with each other.  He is playing with the TV remote.  She is reluctantly looking at old magazines. Both are expressing non-verbal messages to the other, hoping the other will pick up on them.

The ad says…”once you get the distractions that keep you from your intimacy out of the way…never let ED get in the way.”  Well this article will focus on the articulations that are lacking and creating dysfunction in your intimacy relationship.  Most partners expect each other to “read minds and know what the other wants.”

What if the actors had conveyed their wants verbally?  What if they used powerful clarity in their articulation about their desires?

Let’s take a look at something.  Sexual and sensual expression is one of the most powerful forms of communication on the planet; yet it is one of the least spoken.  We find ourselves learning from books, magazines, movies, and such.  Much of our sex-pressions are hunches and hopes…that we pray we get right.  We want to avoid ruining the moment, yet it happens sometimes because we neglect speaking our specific requests.

Well here is a thought.  Imagine if partners really communicated from their most empowered state of mind in the area of their sensuality/sexuality……WOW what an amazing experience that would be!!!

Close your eyes and think about your partner.  How you embrace them.  How you lean in to them for that most sensual kiss.  Feel the warmth of that embrace.  The soft moistness of the lips.  The sensation of sensuality flowing through your body.  Your nipples tingle, your breasts are warm and a heat flows through you from head to toe.

Your mind is racing with desires….. (“Oh how I wish he would know what I want him to do next…..”)

There is the rub.  You are sensually excited; charged with sexual electricity—and he misses the moment.

You know what you want.  Yet, are unsure how to ask for it.  You wish he would read your mind, and kiss you on that sensitive spot.  You know the one that sends shivers through your erogenous zones.

Unfortunately, you are expecting him to know.  Read your mind.  Be a sensual expert for you…without telling him.

Stop.  Look your partner in the eyes.  Speak with clarity of your desire, and share what you want in your intimacy.  Both of you will heighten your sensual experience.

Most couples dance a non-verbal sensual samba, and miss some beats.  When a scintillating sensual conversation accompanies this sex-ploration, there are wonderful benefits and accoutrements.  Now, of course, there are times when the unspoken message is the ignition for a spectacular sequence of events, yet there is nothing like taking the time to articulate specifically what you like…both to give and receive.

Consider taking the step of expressing yourself with your sex partner.  You sense it can be uncomfortable at times, yet with a willingness to express your desires you will be glad you did.  You know what your head wants, yet if you are hesitant to go for it, the moment may be missed.  So take a moment to be specific in what you want.  When you realize that:

There is Power in the Clarity of your Articulation TM

You will realize that you can shift your paradigms with respect to empowering word choice, and impact your results in a favorable way.  Speak what you want to have happen in your most intimate relationships, and enjoy the results.

You’re thinking a new way, yet feeling the old way.  There is a term for this:  Cognitive-Emotive-Dissonance, (CED).  You know that you want to make a change, and you are thinking in a new way about it, but you still feel like the old thought process is in power.  It is a tug-of-war between your mind and gut feeling.  When you explore this new habit of speaking what you want in your sexual expression, you will feel a bit nervous.  That is natural.  Going through CED is natural.  Embrace it.  The more you work on going through it, the easier your sensual conversations will be, and the more pleasure you will have.

(For more information on Cognitive-Emotive Dissonance, please consult the book Help Yourself to Happiness by Maxie C. Maultsby, Jr., M.D.)

Bob Nicoll is the author of Remember the Ice…and Other Paradigm Shifts.  Remember the Ice…and Other Paradigm Shifts is a comprehensive program that teaches you to enhance your communication skills with family members, friends, co-workers—anyone who is important to you. It helps you stay focused on your task and accomplish more goals because you are conveying your message, and articulating your thoughts in a clear, precise manner. You eliminate confusion and gain confidence in your message and ultimately attract more of what you want.
If you would like to know more about Remember the Ice, please go to Bob’s website:  www.remembertheice.com