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Many couples indulge in some form and/or level of vaginal stimulation as a foreplay technique but few make it a major event, either as part of the foreplay or as an event on its own.

A vaginal massage can be an extremely pleasurable experience and it can help your intimate relationship. It can release emotional tensions and stress and can help to heal or release the effects of sexual trauma or abuse.

It is extremely important for the giver of the massage to make VERY sure that there are no sharp edges on their fingers and hands. You will be entering into and working with some of the more delicate tissue in the female body. Men, if you work outdoors and get rough hands, spend some time with an emery board taking the ‘sharp edges’ off. Ladies, if you are giving a female friend – or yourself – a special treat, make sure your nails are well trimmed and smooth – and preferably short.

If you CAN’T get your hands smooth and with NO sharp points, I suggest that you use thin rubber or plastic gloves. I have found that all of the women with whom I have worked do prefer the direct contact of human skin in their vaginas over the ‘non-feel’ of synthetic substances but NOT being scratched deep inside is usually even more preferable.

If the recipient and the giver are already on intimate terms, it is often acceptable to go straight to the vaginal massage. How-wevver, it is often better to give at least a partial body massage before starting on the ‘serious stuff’. It can also be a very good idea to give the recipient both a pelvic floor sculpting and a Yoni – vulva – massage before progressing to the vaginal massage.

If you are a therapist using these techniques with a client, especially a new client, it would be a VERY good idea to have some dialogue with the recipient prior to commencing to discover whether or not there has been any sexual trauma in her past. In the event that there is some history of sexual trauma, I would definitely recommend beginning with a full body massage before progressing through the pelvic floor sculpting and the Yoni massage and ending with the vaginal massage.

Some discussion about whether or not the recipient wants to go all the way to orgasm would also be advisable. The recipient’s comfort zone MUST be taken into consideration in this work, especially in a therapy situation, or any possible benefits may be totally lost.

Vaginal Massage Techniques

Have the recipient lie on her back and place a pillow under her hips. Her legs should be spread apart with knees slightly bent and her genitals well exposed for the massage.

Start by lightly massaging the chest, arms, and hands. Then glide down to the legs. After finishing the fronts of the legs and feet, glide back up and slowly brush over the genitals, teasing them. This teasing can be prolonged by brushing the inner thighs near the genitals, very lightly touching the pubic region.

Pour a small quantity of oil or lubricant on the mound (mons veneris) of the vulva. Start massaging gently on the mound and outer lips of the vulva. Do not rush, go slowly.

Gently squeeze the outer labia (lip) between thumb and index finger and slide up and down the entire length of each lip. Similarly massage the inner labia of her vulva. Ask if the pressure, speed and depth of the strokes are adequate, or if they need to be increased/decreased.

Gently stroke the clitoris with clockwise and counterclockwise circles. Gently squeeze the clitoris between thumb and index finger. She may become very aroused at this point so encourage her to relax and breathe.

Slowly insert your middle finger into her vagina and gently explore and massage the inside of her vagina. Go slowly, be gentle and stroke up, down and sideways. Vary the pressure, speed and depth. You can also insert more than one finger depending on her flexibility and desire to be filled.

Now for the actual vaginal massage

Reaching as far as possible – or as far as is comfortable for the recipient – up inside the vagina, bend your finger(s) into a hook and slowly draw it/them out to the vaginal opening, stretching the walls of vagina in the process. Repeat this move, slowly working your way right around the vagina until you have gone full circle. This may involve changing hands at some stage. If necessary, do this as smoothly as possible.

At all times during this process, be aware of the recipient’s responses, especially any indications that she might not be comfortable with what you are doing. Do not be frightened to ask if in doubt. Even quite mild discomfort can defeat the whole purpose of the exercise.

When you have completed the internal massage steps above, gently insert the tips of both index fingers into the vaginal opening with the palms facing in opposite directions. Now, after asking the recipient to tell when enough is enough, gently stretch the vaginal opening until the recipient says to stop. Then have the recipient try to close her vaginal opening against the pull of your two index fingers. Repeat this process moving your fingers a little further – about a finger width – around the vaginal opening each time until you have done the full circle.

With your palm facing up, and middle finger inside her vagina, move your middle in exploratory movements, searching for a small pad of slightly rougher but spongy tissue on the front wall of the vagina about 2 inches in and pretty much directly behind the top of the pubic bone. This pad of spongy tissue is commonly known as the ‘G-spot’, named after the gentleman who supposedly first documented it, Dr Grafenburg. Sometimes, some pressure applied with the other hand to the lower abdomen immediately above the pubic bone will help in locating the G-spot.

When you have located the recipient’s G-spot, move your finger back and forth in a ‘come hither’ gesture up and down the area, gently stroking it. Also move your finger in circles and from side to side. Take your time …  And ASK the recipient how much pressure she wants you to use. She may very well want more pressure and speed as/when/if she becomes more aroused. This process may very well lead to the recipient having an orgasm or, if you are both lucky, multiple orgasms.

It is also very helpful at the end of a vaginal massage for the giver to remain with the recipient, either in direct contact or close at hand as the recipient desires, while the recipient comes back to more or less normal awareness. It is often helpful to ask the recipient what she would like at this time because individual wants and needs can vary quite markedly, not only between individuals but even between individual events with the same recipient.

Ladies, I hope you get rubbed up the right way – many times.

Gents, I hope you have great success in rubbing your recipient to ecstasy and learn more about her in the process.