When you first got together with your partner, you couldn’t get enough.  You wanted to touch and be touched all the time.  Fantasies of how they kissed you, held your hand, and hugged you played through your mind.  You wanted more, much more.  Your work day would pass in a blur as your mind indulged itself in the memory of their body up against yours…

What happened?

Time goes on and you realize that the never ending feelings of lust and excitement have somehow gone by the wayside.  You still love your partner, but don’t even notice how their lips feel as you give them a quick obligatory kiss good-bye in the morning.  If, that is, you even remember to do that.  Sure, they still turn you on, but Wednesday night sex night isn’t for four more days.  You know that date.  You get naked, do it, and get on with your business.  Every once in awhile you might get really frisky and do it on Friday or Saturday too, but those days seem rare.

What’s Wrong with That?

Maintenance sex is lame at best.  When your relationship falls into a sex rut and you find that you are doing the same old things over and over and that you think more about what you are going to have for breakfast than what your partner is going to do with you, it’s time to re-think your priorities and get yourself back into that passionate lifestyle you had when you first got together.  It’s not “just” sex ladies and gentlemen!!!  It’s for the sake of your relationship, the sake of your own and your partner’s physical health and mental outlook.  Sex effects every part of your life and it’s truly something that needs to be kept spicy and exciting.

How do you get in the mood for sex?

Once you’ve lost the “honeymoon” feelings, then it’s all on you to keep yourself in the mood.  Sure, your partner can definitely help you and the way they treat you and interact with you has a definite impact on your mood to be physically intimate with them.  But we aren’t going there yet, we are starting with you.

Get off your ass!  You got lazy, that’s what happened.  Getting in the mood isn’t automatic anymore and you just haven’t found the desire to put the effort into it.  Let’s change that TODAY!

Here is what you need to do:

Cut out the excuses.  People make time for what’s most important to them.  If you can’t find even a half hour for some alone and naked time with your partner, at least three times a week, you may be having some deep issues with them or yourself that need to get worked out.  Seek counseling if that’s the case, and do it now.  If you can’t afford counseling, email us.  Our sexual enhancement specialists can talk you through just about any sex challenge you could possibly face.

Start thinking about sex

• Getting in the mood for sex starts in your head.
• Think about what feels good, what you think might feel good, and how you are going to make the time to give that to yourself and your partner.  Really get into it.  Feel it, touch yourself, revel in your sexuality.
• Get some sexy movies, or books, or write your own sexy story.
• Give in to the steamiest, most shameful fantasies you can think about and figure out how to act them out in real life.  Even if you really wouldn’t ever do it, think about it anyway!  It’s fun and harmless to fantasize and you’ll find out that your fantasies can give you ideas for things you really can and want to try that you haven’t before.
• Fill out the BDSM checklist and have your partner do the same.  Give it deep thought and try to push the envelope a little.

Start planning for sex

• Start taking long baths, pamper your body and go for the softest smoothest skin you can achieve.
• Truly appreciate the body you are in.  It doesn’t matter if you are a perfect 10, or a perfect 3.  Your body does great things for you and it deserves to be loved and pleased.
• Make a goal to try one new thing a week.  If that sounds overwhelming, then try one new thing a month.  It doesn’t have to be extreme, it can be very tame, like maybe bringing an ice cube to bed and using it to drip ice cold water on your partner’s body for you to lick off.
• Make a list of things you need to buy to help you spice up your sex life.  Whether it’s lube, new toys, lingerie, or bondage items, make the list and treat yourself and your partner to a lusty collection that is just for the two of you.

Surround Yourself with Sex

Indulge in everything sexy you can think of.  Listen to sexy music, burn sexy smelling candles.  Clean that room and make it into a sexual sanctuary instead of the place where you throw your clothes around.  Even at work you can surround yourself with sexy things, they can be a secret only you know about, like sexy lingerie under that business suit or uniform.

Make a commitment to yourself to make passion a lifestyle choice.  Get yourself in the mood and stay in the mood.  Even if your partner isn’t in the mood, eventually all the sexy vibes you are giving off are going to catch up.  Now, you know how to get in the mood for sex, there are no more excuses.  Get started today!