Maybe you’ve used sex toys before and would like to use them with your partner, or maybe you’ve never used a sex toy, but would like to experiment with them.  Knowing how to talk to your partner about sex toys can leave many of us feeling stumped.   To help you communicate with your partner you might want to fully understand the benefits, myths, and facts about sex toys so you are better equipped to discuss this with your partner.

The Benefits of Using Sex Toys

Many women simply can’t orgasm without the additional r.p.m.s that a vibrator offers.  Even women that can reach orgasm, can reach deeper, more intense orgasms with the help of a vibrator.  This doesn’t mean that your partner is inadequate, it’s just how women are physically wired.

Many men can increase and prolong their erections and have deeper orgasms by using a cockring.  Again, that is not because women just don’t know how to do it right, it’s just how men are physically wired.

Sex toys also help add fun and adventure to the bedroom to help keep your sex life vibrant and exciting.  You get the opportunity to learn different ways of turning each other one too, which is a great benefit.

The Myths and Facts of Using Sex Toys

• Sex Toys Are Only for Masturbation. Sex toys can definitely enhance masturbation, much the same as it enhances couples sex.  But sex toys are made to be shared and enjoyed with each other.

• Once You Use Sex Toys There is No Turning Back.  While sex toys enhance your sex life, you don’t become addicted to them and you can still orgasm quite well without them.  In fact, sometimes using a sex toy will teach you things about each other that will enhance your love making when you aren’t using the sex toys too, thereby enhancing “non sex toy” sex.

• Using Sex Toys Means Your Partner is Inadequate.  Enhancing your sex life with sex toys is about celebrating your partner and each other.  It does not mean one or the other of you is inadequate, if anything they are even better lovers because they are open to experiment with new and pleasurable sensations.

• Only Whores, Perverts, and Freaks Use Sex Toys.  Of course they do, but there are many people that are very conservative that enjoy sex toys too.  There are many Christian Marriage Counselors that are currently suggesting that their clients experiment with sex toys.  That would lead me to believe there is nothing sinful or whorish, perverted, or freaky about them.  Doctors frequently advise use of sex toys as well.  In fact, the first dildo was created by a doctor in order to help women overcome feelings of stress and anxiety.

• You Don’t Need a Sex Toy if You are All Ready Having Good Sex. Good sex is awesome.  Repetition and having the same good sex over and over can become repetitive and boring as hell.  Why not go out on a limb and pursue Great Sex that stays varied and exciting?

If your partner is still hesitant, start with normal household items during sex.  An ice cube for example can be an incredible feeling sex toy.  You can use it to drip melted cold water on your partner, put it in your mouth during oral sex, or run along your partner’s sweaty body.  If they agree that it was nice to use an ice cube, that will open the doorway to trying some other types of sex toys.

Sex Toys for First Timers

When choosing a sex toy for the first time together, opt for traditional sex toys that aren’t too big or intimidating looking.  A small vibrator, or bullet vibrator can be a great first time vibe.  An easy to release cockring can also be a great first toy to try out.  Keep it very gentle and slow and talk to each other throughout, such as move it here, try it there, or if it’s too rough or too light.

You might go through half a dozen sex toys before you find ones that really work for you and your partner.  That’s okay. Keep a sense of humor and exploration about it.  There are many inexpensive sex toys that are perfect for trial and error, then when you find your favorites, you can invest in some of the higher quality versions.

Don’t be afraid to ask!  You can contact us at anytime for discreet answers to your questions.  We’ve worked with thousands of couples and can help point you in the right direction for first time sex toys.

The most important part of how to talk to your partner about using sex toys is to really listen to them.  Respecting their feelings and supporting their decision is much more important in the long run.  They may be more open to sex toys at another time, so keep an open mind and look for new opportunities to bring this topic up again.