Many men and women would like to experiment with sex toys during sex with their partner, but they are overcome by feelings of embarrassment about it.  That’s okay to feel embarrassment, but that feeling is not going to allow you to fully explore and express intimacy with your partner.  So, let’s look at some ways that might help you get over that.

Start Small

Pulling out Big Daddy Dong and going for it as if it’s a glass of ice water in the middle of Death Valley is probably going to be extremely intimidating for you and your partner for your “first time” with a sex toy.  Start with something small and on the more conservative side.  A bullet vibe is usually a great first choice, or a cockring for the men.  Don’t worry about going all the way with it the first time you get it out.  Just play around a bit with it, put it aside and pick it up some other time and slowly build with how adventurous you want to become with it.

Use the Surprise Element

“Guess what I brought home to play with Honey?” is a fun surprise.  Use the sex toy on them first.  A vibe can be used on a man partner without penetration and feels incredible if you combine it with oral or manual stimulation.  Rub it right underneath their testicles or lightly play with it all over them.  When they see how good it feels, they may want to return the favor.

Give it to Them to Use On You

Hand your sex toy to your partner and let them know you are really curious about what it’s like.  Let them know that you’ve heard so much about how sex toys can really help couple’s add some variety and spice to their sex life, that you just want to check it out.  Then let them figure out how to use it on you.  You can let them know what feels good and what doesn’t, or make suggestions like “Try this, or try it that way”.

Remember, you don’t control what your body likes or doesn’t like, your body has it’s own idea.  It’s honest and open to let your partner know what your body is feeling.  There is no room for embarrassment if you are approaching it in a more scientific way.  For example, your foot hurts if it gets stepped on and it feels good if someone rubs your shoulders.  Are you in charge of that?  Of course not.  You are not in charge of your bodies sexual responses either.  You are only in charge of how open and honest you are going to be about what your body responds to and doesn’t respond to.  Work at deepening the openess and honesty in your relationship by allowing your partner to know how your body feels during sex toy play, or any other physical activities for that matter.

Be Playful!

Have some fun, using a sex toy isn’t brain surgery.  Have a sense of humor and don’t be afraid to laugh or tease with it.
Bring out your sex toy to your partner and say “Honey, if this sex toy was you, here is what I’d want you to do to me.” Then show them what you like.  “I would want you to touch me here, like this”, and “I would want you to do this to me.”, while physically showing them.  For one part of that, your partner is going to get way turned on by the visual, for the second part, you are making it about them which will help take the focus off your feelings of embarrassment.

So, to sum it all up, be creative, start small, and keep your sense of humor.  Sex toys are fun, it’s why they are called toys.  You don’t have to start using them every time you have sex.  They are meant to enhance sex, not replace what you are all ready doing.  So, relax and have some fun.  You may find that they open the door to whole new levels of intimacy and sexual satisfaction for both you and your partner.