Every person that has these fantasies has questioned how do you even start?  What do you do?  How do you act?  How do you know your partner will like it?  The questions keep coming to the point that some people get scared off from even trying.  But it’s actually very easy once you get started.  We want to help with some tips and we encourage you to take those first steps towards fulfilling your erotic imaginings.

The first step, assuming you have a partner, is to get those fantasies out in the open and then decide together what you are both willing to try.  Domination includes any act that one person controls and the other person submits to.  This could be in the form of verbal domination, telling your partner what to do and if they don’t do it, they get “punished” with punishment ranging from being verbally punished, tickled or spanked lightly, to an all out pain fest.  The fantasies could be about bondage, sensory deprivation, or a myriad of other topics.  For a complete list, refer to the BDSM checklist.

Once you’ve discussed all the topics you both want or are at least willing to try once.  Then talk about a general safe word that will be used for your play times.  This is most important!  A safe word is a word that means either slow down/ease up, or STOP IMMEDIATELY.  Yellow for caution and red for stop are nice clear words that are easy to remember.  If red is called, you stop, talk about what was going on and if you should continue in a different way or switch to an activity more comfortable for your partner.  This safe word is a pact of trust and should always be given the utmost respect.

Now that all that talk is out of the way, you are ready to begin.  Choose an activity that interests you both and get started.  Take your time and remember that dominating your partner is a gift and a responsibility.  Even if your activity, or “Scene” as it’s commonly referred to is about you being completely selfish and taking your own pleasure from the moment, you still have to keep your partner’s health, safety, and well being in mind.  This is the most critical aspect of dominating.  Then, remember these points:

• This is a time of exploring and discovering things, not about “doing it right”.
• You don’t have to change your entire personality to dominate, unless you want to, then go for it.
• Watch your partner to see how they are reacting and adjust your actions accordingly to how you want them to react.
• Remember what you talked about in regard to what they are willing to experiment with and always remember the safe words.
• Expect that some things will be awkward at first and expect that you will have to back off some things and do more of other things.
• It’s all about learning and the learning curve is something that can be a lot of fun as long as you respect each other and keep a playful sense of humor about it.

Stay tuned for How to Submit to Your Lover.  In the meantime, go to the list and choose what you would like to experience, gather up any “props” that you might need and keep an open line of communication with your partner.  Props can be anything at all that you decide on.  It could be restraints, blindfolds, handcuffs, whips, a feather tickler, ice cubes, or any number of other devices, and it could just be your own willingness to dive into the most erotic encounters you’ve ever known.

BDSM is highly erotic and the sky is the limit in how you “do it”.  Typically one person will agree to submit to the other, this is known as a power exchange.  This could be as simple as one person agreeing to be blindfolded and sensually teased.  The other person, which is the dominant is the person that agrees to give the teasing.  It doesn’t always have to be sexual, but it’s usually always very sensual.

Many people think BDSM is all about pain.  Not true.  In reality, it’s more about pleasure and an intimate play time based on considerable communication between partners in regard to what is on or off limits.  It’s about exploring in a way that can create deeply intimate ties.  These ties and excitement will go beyond anything that could ever be experienced with the same old three position “vanilla” sex that many partners get stuck into.

For example, someone may agree to be tied up and spanked, but only lightly and with no pain involved. Another person may want to be spanked until they are red and pushed to their own limit of what they feel they can take from their partner. A word, known as a safe word is typically agreed upon in advance, for example “yellow” for slow down or lighten up on whatever event is occuring and “red” means stop immediately and spend a moment discussing this or moving on to another activity.

So, how do you know where to start?  We found this extremely comprehensive BDSM list at www.thebrc.net site that is an excellent tool to open communication between partners and to begin exploring deeper forms of sensual play and eroticism.

We suggest you each take time to fill this form out and share and discuss it with your partner.  Pick out some great new Bondage and Fetish Gear items and then, Let the Games Begin!  Don’t forget all the fun accessories and BDSM wear available at HappyHer.com!

Edible candles are the newest sexy crave!  These soy candles are fragrant with flavor such as cherry edible candles, chocolate edible candles, strawberry edible candles, peach edible candles, and watermelon edible candles.

The candles are 100% vegan, non-toxic, fragrant, and melt into a warming, silky massage oil.  Eight natural oils including Hemp Seed, Vitamin E, Jojoba, and Almond oil.  The oils penetrate and moisturize the skin leaving it feeling scrumptiously soft and alive.  After a sensual massage, let the oral delight begin!  Your mouth will water as you taste the yummy flavors.  Use two or more different flavors, such as chocolate and strawberry for an even more delicious experience!

For an even more sensual delight, blindfold your partner, and maybe even restrain them as you allow the candles to burn down and drip the oil onto different body parts.  Your partner will be taken to new heights of sensual bliss while you get the yummiest of deserts.  Or, leaving the blindfold on, drip the wax on your own body parts and let your lover lick them off and guess what flavor candle you used.  The possibilities are unlimited.

Candles will always be an item to stay stocked up on for your sensual times.  Stock up on these yummy soy candles today for a candle that will really work for you in a variety of ways.