One of the most common complaints we hear is that one part of a couple isn’t satisfied with the amount of sex they get to have with their mate.  So, we thought we would list out some of the most important things you can do to have and maintain a happy sex life with your partner.

How to Have a Happy Sex Life

Sex needs to be kept a priority. Many times life gets in the way.  We have jobs, kids, a mortgage, and other events that pull our attention away from creating a wonderful sex life for ourselves and our partner.  Some people shy away from scheduling sex, saying it’s not sexy if it’s not spontaneous.  But scheduled sex can be very exciting.  You have a chance to plan and prepare, you can spend time before hand leaving each other suggestive messages about what they might be in store for during your sex date.

Keep sex exciting. Even if you are very conservative and not into “kink”, you can still find lots of things to do to keep sex from getting boring.  Try stretching your limits a bit and explore new ideas.  Take turns finding new things to try with each other and new ways to turn each other on.  Read a book, watch a movie, email us, there are tons of ideas out there.

RELAX! It’s life, we all live it, and we aren’t going to get out of it alive.  We all have our own issues, work problems, family issues, money issues, it seems like every day has some new challenge.  Stress, anxiety and fear are some of the biggest libido killers.  Nip them in the bud, even if you need professional help in order to get these three things under control.  It’s worth it to know how to live life in a relaxed and joyful manner, and THAT’S sexy!

Come to terms with your body. Many of us get to the point where we are embarassed for our lover to see our body.  We insist that the lights be kept off and do everything we can to keep them from seeing how flawed we are.  The sad part of that is it’s all bullshit.  Turn on the lights and if your lover has an issue, it’s THEIR issue, not yours.  In the meantime, you can do what you can to get and stay in shape for yourself to feel better about you, but don’t allow your sex life to suffer just because you are too critical of yourself.

Take care of issues. We ALL have issues, and unfortunately many issues seem to effect our sex life.  Whether it’s past
sexual abuse, low self esteem, or issues with our lovers, we need to work those issues out.  Don’t be afraid to ask for help.  Many people are hesitant to get counseling because they feel it’s shameful or too expensive.  But look around your area or online, many therapists will work with you at an affordable rate.  You can also look into support groups for victims of abuse.  Those are free and have lots of people ready to help support and encourage you to feel better.

Granted, if you and your lover are having issues with each other, then both of you have to be willing to work through
them.  The secret here is many times a lover doesn’t understand how issues outside the bedroom can effect issues inside the bedroom.  But they do, and they need to be worked through.  Learning how to negotiate with your partner will help SO much with this.  Notice I said negotiate and not compromise.  Never compromise.  You’ll both lose.  Negotiate until you are both happy with the negotiations.  The Golden Key to Unlocking Your Soulmate Relationship works wonders for couples looking to work through issues and get back to good loving.

See a doctor. Get a checkup if you feel your sex drive is low and there is no other explanation.  Sometimes, especially
as we age, our hormones need some help.  You won’t know if you don’t talk to your doctor.  Be careful of medications
that will lower your sex drive as well and ask your doctor what you can do to help alleviate that symptom so that you
can maintain a happy sex life.

Keep yourself aroused and in the mood. Do whatever does it for you, as long as it’s in line with what’s acceptable within your relationship. It’s truly not up to your partner to do all the work to make sure YOU are turned on, you gotta do some of that for yourself.

Turn yourself on.  Some people get turned on by wearing sexy lingerie, other’s like sexy movies, and books.  Porn is a very popular way, but sometimes it’s an issue.  Discuss that with your partner first, but at least books or magazines should be acceptable.  There are all sorts of turn ons from music, to dancing, to even gardening, or working out.  Find out what your turn ons are and pursue them avidly.

Keep the mood set. A clean, inviting home and bedroom helps create a welcoming environment for sex.  Seductive
smells like vanilla, sandalwood, pumpkin pie spice are all aromas that invite sensuality.  Keep your bedroom free of
clutter, family pictures (Come on, how sexy do you feel when little Junior’s face is smiling out of that frame?), old bed
clothes are so not sexy.  Make it a point to keep your area prepared for lovin’.

I hope these tips have helped to get your creative juices flowing.  With a little time, attention and effort, there is no reason why the two of you can’t maintain a happy sex life for years to come.  If worse comes to worse, make sure and do it sometimes too even when you aren’t in the mood.  Your partner deserves the health benefits and you never know,
sometimes you’ll have incredible sex after you’ve decided to do it regardless of whether you feel like it or not.

Sexual Workout for Women

The primary sexual exercise for women are Kegel exercises. Kegel exercises work out the muscles inside the vagina which will leave you feeling tighter and will become a more pleasurable fit for your partner. Believe me ladies, if you work out these muscles and use them during sex with your partner, he is going to go out of this world with pleasure!

The easiest way to learn to perform Kegel exercises is to stop and start urinating in mid stream. Once you get the hang of that, you can practice them anytime, anywhere. Start slow with squeezing those muscles to a count of four and then releasing for a count of four. Do ten sets of these two to three times a day and work up to about ten to fifteen seconds of holding action.

You may also want to look into getting Smart Balls or Ben Wa Balls. They will give you something to grip and hold onto. After just a short time of working out with Kegel exercises, you will notice a great improvement in sexual performance. Not only that, but you will help prevent urinary incontinence in your later years!

Sexual Workout for Men

Men, you are very lucky. There are exercises you can do that will give you stronger ejaculations, will control the direction of your erection, increase volume of semen, give you a healthier prostate, prevent urine leakage in your later years, and even more than that! But most important, nothing beats a good hard, strong penis to help with giving your lady the kind of sex that will keep her happy and begging for more. Is that enough to motivate you? I hope so, let’s get started!

Kegels for Men

Yes, men, you have muscles in there too, just like the ladies that need a good workout. The directions for this are exactly the same as for the ladies except for two big differences. One is, only do these three to four times a week and work your way up to more slowly. If you over-do it, you won’t be able to get an erection until you’ve rested up for a bit. Also, you don’t have the tools to use as the ladies do, but you don’t need them.

In a short time you’ll notice that you’ve increased the strength of these muscles. Show off that new found strength by doing your Kegels when you are inside your partner. You can tap just the right spots inside and can give each of you immense orgasms!

Penis Lifts

This exercise will increase the size of your penis by bulking it up and increasing the girth. It will also increase the strength and we all ready talked about how nice that will be for you and your partner! The added girth will also be greatly appreciated by your partner!

* Sit at the edge of your seat and make your penis fully erect.
* Hang a face cloth over the base of your penis and contract your penis muscles to make the erection stand all the way up.
* Hold this position for three seconds and then work up to five seconds. Do five reps for three sets and work up to ten reps for five sets two to three times a week.
* As you get stronger, you can wet the wash cloth to give it some weight, and then start to slowly move it up closer and closer to the head of your penis.

The Jelq Workout

If you master this one, your penis size will quite literally be in your own hands! This exercise should be done daily. Make sure to start slow and easy and gently, this is very important. Going to fast or too rough will do more damage than good, so be patient with yourself!

* Before you begin this exercise, and then afterward, you want to apply a hot compress on the genitals. You can use a hot towel for this, as hot as what is comfortable. This will warm the tissues up and is important to begin to increase the flow of blood to the penis.
* After your hot compress, you want to use some lube, don’t be shy with the lube, it’s an important part of this workout.
* Starting with a semi-erection and don’t do this exercise with an erect penis, take breaks if you have to.
* Encircle the base of your penis with one hand. Ensure that no blood escapes.
* While holding the base with one hand, use your other hand to move towards the head of your penis, forcing the blood upwards.
* If the urge to ejaculate begins to overwhelm you, take a break and try again at another time. You don’t want to ejaculate during this exercise.

What all this does is rebuilds and expands the The corpora cavernosa and the corpus spongiosum, or the spongy tissues inside your penis. The ligaments of the penis (Suspensory ligament) will become lengthened making your penis stronger and larger. In a few months time, you will notice an improvement in penis size, in the girth and length. Long-time practitioners of this workout have claimed up to several inches of length are possible.

Guys, I would also suggest you invest in a good penis pump and use it. That offers a great, and fun workout as well.

The Dare!

Now that you have some exercises, there is no excuse! Get started with these exercises as soon as possible. I dare someone to do these consistently for one month and then let us know how it worked for you!

I’m proud to announce The Sexiest Couple Award and Grand Prize Goes to:

LilMama and BigDaddy!

LilMama and BigDaddy have won:

* A gift basket from Lust Cosmetics valued at $100.00
* A HappyHer.com gift Certificate of $100.00
* Free Scholarship to the Upcoming Secret Program – (Details will be released later,….)
* A mini session via phone and another free erotic gift from Veronica Monet
* Great Sex for Life Toolkit (Playbook, DVD and CD) from Krisanna Jeffrey
* $10.00 Gift Certificate from Hunter’s Romantic Secrets

What they had to say:

“MY MARRIAGE HAS BEEN SAVED! We are now stronger than ever, understanding each others feelings better we put each other first rather than ourselves. What we liked this time around was the homework  assignments they were rather interesting, reminded us of being in school which we feel this challenge is school because we learn tons of information during the challenge.

We have become disciplined to make sure we speak with each other, to see how the other ones day went, we recognize issues before losing control of the issue, we have way less arguments, and we don’t place blame on the other one anymore.

Most of all our date/movie nights has upgraded to dinner and dancing.  Our challenge definitely is going to continue as we both have lost weight by participating in this challenge, we love our sex life, and our communication and body language with each other has improved tremendously.”

The Most Adventurous Couple Award and First Place Prize Go to:

BigD & H

BigD and H have won:

* A gift basket from Lust Cosmetics valued at $100.00
* A HappyHer.com gift Certificate of $50.00
* Free Scholarship to the Upcoming Secret Program – (Details will be released later….)

What they had to say:

“We didn’t notice how our lives were taken over by work. The 101 day sex challenge reminded us that we’re still kids and shouldn’t let one area of life take over everything.  We’ve been talking more, smiling more, and eating better. We feel healthier, happier, and far less stressed. We’ve also lost some weight! Not that either of us were obese, but now plan to market a new weight loss program inspired by Tracy’s challenge! (just kidding!)

The biggest benefit we’ve found has been the communication and cooperation.  The amount of sex we have was the catalyst for all of our recent changes and we can’t imagine letting ourselves be sucked back into work.

We’re going to continue having sex daily. Even when we’re not feeling our best. The last 3 months have been far too
amazing to let go. The physical and emotional benefits we experienced so far are unlike anything. We’re planning to
finish off the bdsm checklist, including the things we’ve previously decided we just didn’t find interesting. Those
experiences, along with pushing the limits in other ways will keep things fresh and interesting for a long time. We’re both incredibly glad to have signed up!”

I want to thank all of the sponsors, they’ve helped make this Challenge a rewarding event for all.  Thank you, also to the couples for the time, and risk they put into accepting this challenge!  It was truly an amazing experience all the way around!

Now, what is the free scholarship to the Upcoming Secret Program you may ask?  Well, let’s just say it’s going to be a revolution in enhancing relationships.  I promise to give you more information soon!

CAT allows clit stimulation during regular orgasm which many intercourse positions do not allow.  We do recommend using plenty of lube with this position and to adjust it according to the amount of clit stimulation you are comfortable with.    This position takes the missionary position to new levels of excitement and satisfaction.

How to “Do” CAT

• Get into missionary position.  You know, woman on her back on the bottom and man on top between her legs.

• Woman’s legs should be slightly bent.

• Man should position himself higher than normal, using his arms to hold himself up better, but relax his upper body.

• Allow the woman to create most of the movement and notice the contact between her clit and the base of his penis.

• Try rocking back and forth and even side to side a bit, focusing on this contact with the clit over typical thrusting penetration alone.

Variations:

• Woman can then wrap her legs around his so that her ankles rest on his calves.

• Man can kneel between woman’s legs, with his legs bent under him, then lean over her, and position himself higher on her body.

• Insert a small bullet before penetration, you’ll both feel exquisite vibrations.

This position takes some playing around with, but is well worth the experimentation.

I’m sorry, but those reasons are based in ignorance.  It’s like taste testing food.  How do you really know if you’ll like it, or how well they’ll work if you won’t even try them?

Sex toys aren’t meant to replace a partner.  You can never replace human touch and intimacy.  Never, ever, ever, ever.  Well, they do help for masturbating, but that’s a different story.  Using sex toys with your partner is meant to enhance and increase pleasure, offer more satisfying orgasms, and deepen physical and emotional intimacy.  How can that be wrong or bad?

You also can’t become addicted to sex toys.  You may like them so much that you feel addicted to them, but you’ll still find yourself having lots of sex without the toys.  In fact, you’ll probably more sex as there is great pleasure in variety.   Sex toys definitely help give you a broader range of variety to have adventures with.

The best sex toys for couples are created through years of testing.  I would love to be on that testing panel.  I think in a way my husband and I are as we like to check out a lot of different toys since I work with them all day anyway.  I can’t tell you how much they’ve added to our sex life.  Even the most simple toys can pack some great pleasure.  Some don’t work at all for us, and that’s okay too.  The ones that work for us, well, it’s worth the “duds’ for sure.  The duds still offer us something to laugh about and deepen our intimacy as we further learn what works and what doesn’t for each of us.

My reccomendation is to get some sex toys and try them out.  What have you got to lose?  Perhaps a few dollars, but most toys can be purchased for pennies on the dollar and the experience itself can be priceless.  After you’ve actually tried them once or twice, then you can make intelligent choices and you might just find your sex life going to new levels of excitement!

The Top Three Sex Toys for Couples:

Here is our pick of “starter” toys that each couple should take the time to try at least once.

• A Cockring.  A cockring is created to give a man a stronger erection with some major lasting power.  His orgasm will be significantly more intense.  Overall, this is a win-win situation for both people.  Get a cockring that is adjustable, or super stretchy to start with and see for yourself how amazing it can be.  If you like it, try a cockring that has a vibrator attached to it too for some extra delights for both of you.  You can learn how to use a Cockring HERE.

• A Bullet or Egg Vibrator.  This are small powerhouses of vibration.  They can be used to massage both of you and are exquisite to adding new levels of sensation to oral sex on either one of you.  They can be inserted vaginally (We don’t recommend anal insertion of these vibes), you can then continue with intercourse with the bullet inserted as well and you’d be amazed at how much you both may enjoy this.  You can also use it for clitoral stimulation, or perineum stimulation during intercourse as well.

• A Dildo Vibrator.  Start with a small one that won’t seem intimidating. It’s great for foreplay on each other, or to use to help finish your partner off with if you don’t last as long.  Some women can’t orgasm without a vibrator.  That’s just how some women are physically wired and is exactly why vibrators were invented in the first place.  Try it and you’ll see what satisfaction and pleasure can be accomplished.

• Don’t forget the lube!  Most sex toys work best when you use some lube with them.  Even if you use no other sex toy, lube can come in handy time and time again.

So, let’s get honest.  We use tools for everything in life.  We use them to help make our tasks easier and more pleasant to accomplish.  Well, sex toys are tools, and they are toys.  They are tools because they will do things for you that you can’t do by yourself.  Kind of like you wouldn’t change a tire with your bare hands.  They are toys because they are FUN.  Doesn’t your relationship deserve at least a chance to try them?

Start Small

Pulling out Big Daddy Dong and going for it as if it’s a glass of ice water in the middle of Death Valley is probably going to be extremely intimidating for you and your partner for your “first time” with a sex toy.  Start with something small and on the more conservative side.  A bullet vibe is usually a great first choice, or a cockring for the men.  Don’t worry about going all the way with it the first time you get it out.  Just play around a bit with it, put it aside and pick it up some other time and slowly build with how adventurous you want to become with it.

Use the Surprise Element

“Guess what I brought home to play with Honey?” is a fun surprise.  Use the sex toy on them first.  A vibe can be used on a man partner without penetration and feels incredible if you combine it with oral or manual stimulation.  Rub it right underneath their testicles or lightly play with it all over them.  When they see how good it feels, they may want to return the favor.

Give it to Them to Use On You

Hand your sex toy to your partner and let them know you are really curious about what it’s like.  Let them know that you’ve heard so much about how sex toys can really help couple’s add some variety and spice to their sex life, that you just want to check it out.  Then let them figure out how to use it on you.  You can let them know what feels good and what doesn’t, or make suggestions like “Try this, or try it that way”.

Remember, you don’t control what your body likes or doesn’t like, your body has it’s own idea.  It’s honest and open to let your partner know what your body is feeling.  There is no room for embarrassment if you are approaching it in a more scientific way.  For example, your foot hurts if it gets stepped on and it feels good if someone rubs your shoulders.  Are you in charge of that?  Of course not.  You are not in charge of your bodies sexual responses either.  You are only in charge of how open and honest you are going to be about what your body responds to and doesn’t respond to.  Work at deepening the openess and honesty in your relationship by allowing your partner to know how your body feels during sex toy play, or any other physical activities for that matter.

Be Playful!

Have some fun, using a sex toy isn’t brain surgery.  Have a sense of humor and don’t be afraid to laugh or tease with it.
Bring out your sex toy to your partner and say “Honey, if this sex toy was you, here is what I’d want you to do to me.” Then show them what you like.  “I would want you to touch me here, like this”, and “I would want you to do this to me.”, while physically showing them.  For one part of that, your partner is going to get way turned on by the visual, for the second part, you are making it about them which will help take the focus off your feelings of embarrassment.

So, to sum it all up, be creative, start small, and keep your sense of humor.  Sex toys are fun, it’s why they are called toys.  You don’t have to start using them every time you have sex.  They are meant to enhance sex, not replace what you are all ready doing.  So, relax and have some fun.  You may find that they open the door to whole new levels of intimacy and sexual satisfaction for both you and your partner.

What is Aftercare?

Aftercare is any activity that follows up intimate contact with your partner that helps them feel more comfortable and assured after sex.

Aftercare Activities:

• Cuddling after sex.
• Assurance to your partner of how beautiful they are and how satisfied with them you are.
• Bringing your partner refreshments, a drink of water or tea, or a light snack.
• Wiping your partner off with a cool or warm cloth.
• Massage.
• Make sure their environment is comfortable.  Do they need extra blankets, the lights lowered, or background noises dimmed?
• Attending to any injuries that may have occurred during rougher sex play.
• Asking your partner if they are satisfied and if there is anything else you can do for them.

Why Aftercare?

• Aftercare increases your connection to your partner.
• Your partner will feel cared for.
• Aftercare encourages additional desires for intimacy.
• Aftercare increases trust levels and feeling open with each other.
• It’s the most loving thing you can do.
• It’s really a matter of good sexual manners.

Aftercare Etiquette that Will Increase Your Status as a Great Lover:

• Aftercare is handled by both partners, but typically, whoever was the most dominant should take responsibility for attending to their partner.  As most couples will take turns being dominant or submissive with each other, then aftercare follows suit to whoever pursued having sex.

• If your partner is in the dominant position, give them assurance about how pleasurable your experience was with them.

• Communicate with your partner about what they want or need after sex.  Some people fall asleep shortly after great sex, so they may not want too much aftercare, where others may feel energized and need a bit of extra time of talking, cuddling, and connection with you.  If you don’t spend the time to communicate about this, you may not realize what they want or need.

• Always pursue at least a minimal amount of aftercare no matter how long you’ve been with your partner.  Nothing is worse or leaves you feeling taken for granted than “Wham, Bam, Thank You Mam” and then your off on your own.

• It’s very important to never bring up complaints or issues during aftercare.  Save those sort of topics for outside the bedroom and never, ever right after sex.  Sex usually brings up feelings of vulnerability and sometimes insecurity.  This is the time to share your love, not bring up issues of any kind.

Taking this time to give your partner aftercare services of any kind is really the least you can do for someone that is opening up and sharing their most intimate nature with you.  So, make sure you are generous with the time and effort you put in to what happens after sex. This will increase your status as a great lover and keep your partner coming back for more!

I wanted to write this article while my fingers are still burning from jalapenos.  This is a must serve dish for anyone that is planning a romantic meal!  Now, the measurements aren’t specific, and please, feel free to option out of whatever ingredients you don’t care for, but try to stick as close as you can to all the ingredients listed.

Orgasm Stew Recipe

Ingredients

• 1 1/2 Pounds Boneless Skinless Chicken Breasts
• Large Can Crushed Pineapple
• Juice from one or two oranges
• Pepper to taste
• Ginger to taste
• Soy Sauce to taste
• One small can chicken broth
• One small can tiny shrimp
• One small can crabmeat
• One chopped green pepper
• One medium sized chopped jalapeno (Don’t add the seeds!)
• One chopped Onion
• Several cloves of chopped garlic

I started early and put the chicken in a crockpot, added pineapple juice, fresh squeezed orange juice, a bit of soy sauce and a ton of pepper as I really love pepper!  Then this slow cooked all day.

I then removed the chicken breasts and put them in a 13×9 inch baking pan and started 3 cups rice and the juice from the chicken (I also added a bit of chicken broth to make up to 3 1/2 cups liquid), and let the rice start to cook.

As the rice was cooking I chopped one onion, one green pepper, one jalapeno, and a few cloves of garlic.  I tossed those in a pan with a couple tablespoons of olive oil.  When the onion started to soften I added some soy sauce and about two teaspoons of ginger and kept the heat on high.

Then I added crushed pineapple, about a cup and a half, drained and a few twists of Himalayn pink salt.  You really don’t need salt at all, or just minimal as the seafood will be pretty salty as is, but the little bit of pink salt that I added gave a great edge.  Next, came a small can of drained tiny shrimp and drained crab meat.  Last was about a cup and a half or so of ham chunks.

I added all of this, except for the chicken and mixed really well.  I then put this mixture over the chicken breasts and threw in the oven, covered for twenty minutes at 350 degrees to allow all the flavors to really meld.

Why do I call this orgasm stew?  Well, you have to try it for yourself.  Serve with some french bread, real butter, soft music and lighting.  Don’t forget the beverage of your choice.   Of course wearing some really sexy lingerie, and little else, will also help “set the mood”.

This is an aphrodisiac packed meal that not only tastes absolutely awesome, but will put you both in the mood for something extremely decadent for dessert – like each other.  With of course a drizzle of luscious tasting lube!

Does that sound crazy?  With all the porn showing sexual ecstasy, millions of books sold, millions spent on counseling to overcome sexual problems in marriage, not to mention the sexual pharmaceutical industry.  Our world revolves around sex, it’s everywhere.  We wouldn’t be here without it.

We all long for that sexual expression that is rarely ever experienced.  And, it just sounds insane that when it boils down to it, most of us don’t want to do the due diligence having truly great sex requires.

The greatest sex requires vulnerability, trust and a willingness to completely open up to your partner.  An orgasm is great, but when it’s the best sex, it can create emotionally overpowering feelings that many of us are simply too scared to allow ourselves to experience.  Or, we simply don’t trust that our partner will be there for us on that deep of a level.  The thought of risking any level of rejection at that point is too much for some people to want to put their neck out for.

Truly great sex requires the willingness to lose control.  That is a challenge for many people as well.  We are ashamed, embarassed, or just scared at what will happen if we truly let go down to the deepest core of ourself.

So, we keep buying into the idea of wanting great sex, but we’ll only allow it to go so deep.  Then, we are left wondering why we still have that nagging sense of not feeling completely fulfilled.

Many times in relationships, the sex stops because the partner is hurt, they don’t feel safe and don’t want to risk feeling vulnerable when they don’t trust that their partner has their best interest at heart.  For women, and men too, but especially women, that feeling of surrendering our all to our lover is something we crave and long for.  But if we aren’t getting the basic emotional requirements met outside the bedroom, there is no way in hell we are going to allow for it to happen in the bedroom.

Now, I’m not knocking superficial sex by any means.  There are many benefits to sex no matter how you are getting it.  But this is about mind blowing, earth shattering, soul deep sex, that many of us will never experience.  I think that’s a true shame.  But, we won’t allow it because we just don’t have the personal fortitude or emotionally supportive partner to be able to truly allow it to happen.

So, what are you going to do about that?  Are you going to go for it, risk your all for an experience that could very well change your life and your relationship for the best?  Are you going to learn how to communicate your needs and work with your partner to have those needs met?  Are you also willing to look at your partner’s needs and do what it takes to show them that you are that partner that’s going to be a safe person to let it all go for, to possibly lose all control and lay shuddering in the midst of something you only thought was possible in fantasies?

In the end, it’s up to you and your partner to work out.  But the shocking truth about great sex is that many of you just simply don’t want it.  It’s easier to stay on the fringe, taking the edge off by watching porn, masturbating, or pursuing some sexual fun with your partner that is emotionally risk free.  But, what if you and your partner agreed to take a deep look at it, to make each other feel emotionally safe, and then to throw inhibitions to the wind?  What then?

Many other people will run to the store or their favorite online adult sex toy store, and grab the first vibe, and usually the cheapest they can find.  Then, they are dissappointed because it didn’t live up to the fantasy.   If that has happened to you, don’t give up.  Some people have to go through several vibes before they find the one that really does it for them.  Here are the tips to cutting through some of those trial and errors:

Set a fair budget for your first vibe

The cheapo vibes can be fun to use and throw away, but they don’t offer the feeling and quality that the higher end vibes offer.  Now, you probably don’t want to break the bank either.  There are many medium priced vibes that will give you top of the line quality.  So set a fair budget, say between $25 to $40 for your first vibe.

What kind of stimulation are you looking for?

A rabbit vibe will do it all and was made extremely popular by “Sex in the City”.  These remain the most popular.  They are made to insert and to stimulate your clit at the same time.  They pulse, vibrate and rotate for some delectable sensations.  It’s my belief that every woman should have a rabbit in her bedroom!

G-Spot vibes are shaped to really be able to reach that g-spot for some incredible stimulation.  If you aren’t quite sure though, you might want to save this type of vibe for when you are feeling a bit more advanced.

Bullet or egg vibes look like eggs.  They can be used to stimulate and insert.  They won’t feel like a regular vibe, but if you insert a bullet, and then insert a real penis, you’ll both realize some mind blowing sex that you may have never thought possible.

Traditional vibe.  A traditional vibe is a phallic looking vibe that is used for insertion, but can also be used for other stimulation.  It’s a great choice if you aren’t quite sure how or what stimulation you want, but just know you want to try it out.

Are you going to be using it solo or with your partner?

You can use the same style vibe for masturbating and with your partner.  But you might want to keep the color selection in mind.  Whipping out the “Big Daddy” vibe with your partner, might be a little intimidating.  Starting with a small bullet or even vibrating cockring to help introduce your partner to the idea and incredible sensations of a vibe might be your best start.

Should you buy online or in a store?

Many people prefer to buy sex toys online.  It’s more discreet, usually better pricing, and you can shop from the comfort of your own home.  Other people like to go to a store and look around.  Either way is fine.  If you are going to buy online, make sure you are buying from a reputable online store – like HappyHer.com for example!

Overall the best thing to do is just dive in, start looking around and pick one that you think might be fun to try.  Keep a sense of humor about it and if the first one doesn’t work out, try another one.  Don’t forget the batteries and lube!