Lingerie has three basic traditional colors: red, white, and black. White is typically deemed as the “innocent” color. You get married in a white gown and wear sexy white merry widow underneath. Red is the color of love and lust. It shows that your desires are hot and full of passion. Black is the most infamous of all lingerie colors. Black displays ecstasy and mystery, the rich deep color shows off any skin tone and always sets the mood. Choosing your favorite colors, or colors to match specific outfits is always a good idea as well.

There is no end to a lingerie wardrobe. The designs and materials are so different from dainty sensual lace and rose appliqués to stretch metallic lycra that halters up your breast. It’s best to have a variety of them. If you like a more flirty approach and are not so comfortable with your figure, there are short dresses, chemises, or baby dolls. Some are made from satin, silk and see through lace. If you are more of a tomboy, you can always try a boy short set. The main thing is that you feel comfortable in what you are wearing so you and your partner can continue to enjoy them.

You should always have bras, at least one black, white and a flesh colored. That way you have one for under any outfit and you’ll want to be able match your panties too. Lace and other embellishments bring out the sexual potential of your lingerie. They are no longer “bras and panties”, they become enticing items of sexual desire alluring your partner to come give you the attention you deserve.

One dress, or gown type is a must have. This way when you have a “bloated” moment, your sexiness doesn’t have to suffer. I prefer shorter gowns to longer ones because it’s easy to move more freely in them, but longer gowns have an elegance and mystique all of their own.

Teddies are beautiful but not everyone can wear a teddy. A cami or boy short set is always a nice addition. The cami comes in a variety of lengths from just bra coverage to the entire bodice. You can always use them to cover tummy imperfections as well and hot shorts help hide leg problems.

The corset, oh how amazing it is, it is a must for all women! It squeezes in the middle and pushes everything up to your breast. It does not matter if you are small on top, or large in the tummy, with the right corset you always wind up with full breasts and deep cleavage. The addition of a garter and thigh highs just enhances the sex factor even more. You and your partner will always want to see it on you.

So basic lingerie wardrobe should consist of

• 3 bra sets – white, black, and flesh toned

• Gown or dress – sexy yet mysterious

• Corset – pushes the limits of your breast

• Panties, boy shorts, thongs, and g-strings, enough to last at least a week or two

• Stockings or Thigh Highs.  About a dozen in a variety of colors should do

Make sure and keep your lingerie wardrobe up-to-date with seasonal additions. It’s so much fun to put on new pieces, whether it’s for your own pleasure or to surprise your partner with a new look!

Early on, you may not wear any.  For some reason, men find this incredibly sexy.  Perhaps it’s their genetic laziness – the same gene that causes them to watch an infomercial after the game because they don’t know where the remote is and they sure as hell aren’t getting up to look for it.  The idea of reaching up your skirt and finding nothing standing between them and your sweet spot drives them insane.

After a short time, you spice it up with a sexy thong.  This turns him on, too.  Again… genetics.  Men are hunters, and he needs to explore your “nethers” finding where that little strip of material disappeared to.  We, as women, need to encourage this!  Thongs, g-strings, crotchless panties… They all do the trick to get your man to hunt and gather.

Then, a little more material comes into the picture and you start wearing teddies, babydolls, and camis.  This works wonders in the world of male genetics because men have always been fascinated with uncovering treasures.  Boys love “diggers”… bulldozers and the like.  Granted, probably not the gentlest of methods, but what do we care?  Rip those clothes off, baby!  They see something they like, know there’s something more to love underneath, and suddenly they’re on a mission to uncover the secrets of your world.

The step women take after this puzzles me.  At some point, women start buying these enormous cotton granny panties.  I hear excuse after excuse about how they’re “comfortable” or how there’s no reason to “bother” with thongs and such anymore.  WHAT???  Let’s think logically here.  ALL panties are gonna migrate up your ass at some point during the day, agreed?  That comfort stuff you spew is bullshit.  I’d much rather have a half-inch of fabric intentionally there than to be ducking around a corner to wiggle five inches worth of material out of my ass.

As for male genetics and granny panties?  We know men are lazy.  We’ve established that’s why minimal clothing is ideal.  While that excites them, granny panties have the opposite effect.  That much fabric reminds them of a blanket and they want nothing more than to roll over and go to sleep.

So use his genetics to your advantage.  Encourage him to explore and remind him there is one hell of a treasure to be unearthed!!!

All he wants for Christmas is you… In a red velvet teddy with white maribu trim, thigh highs, and stilettos. He wants to see your ass framed by two garter straps. He wants to see your tits pushed up to your throat. He wants to see that hint of lacy material at the top of your ass and follow its disappearing act. THAT’S what he really wants for Christmas.

We know that men are visual creatures. We also know that the best way to get the things WE want is to give them a little of what THEY want. And try as you may to convince yourself that the lame, same boring ass sex you’re having is enough to satisfy him… you’re wrong. Sorry ‘bout your luck, honey.

There’s a damn good reason he moved out of his mama’s house the day he turned 18. He was being fed, clothed, and housed – yet he willingly (enthusiastically) gave it up. Why? Because Mama’s meatloaf met his basic needs, but it didn’t satisfy him. She made that shit every Thursday night for 18 years. And he ate it. Because he was hungry. But you bet your sweet ass he’d have inhaled a double cheeseburger with special sauce, given the chance.

You, my dear, were that cheeseburger. He left his mama’s meatloaf for you. But if you’re now serving up the same shit every Wednesday night, guess what? You’re no better than that mushed up concoction of shit she tossed in the oven on Thursdays. You need to throw a little Louisana hot sauce on that pussy and spice it up a little!

Buy yourself something hot. Maybe a red corset with a matching thong. Maybe a flirty little babydoll nightie. Whatever makes YOU feel sexy. (And heels… the taller the better. Logic here: If you’re 5’6”/140, and you slip on 4” heels, you’re instantly 5”10”/140.) Call his mama and tell her the kids are coming over tonight. (They can eat that meatloaf.) When he comes home and finds you standing at the stove wearing something hot, there’s ‘bout to be a house fire. Guaranteed.

You think I’m kidding? Try it. See what happens. I’d bet my last drop of Chanel you get devoured like a Thanksgiving turkey at a homeless shelter. I don’t care how long you’ve been together, how long you’ve been married, or how mundane your sex life has become. We all have a little sex kitten inside and she’s dying to roar like the lioness she longs to be!

Get sexy! Be sexy! OWN sexy!

And give Gramps that cordless drill… your man won’t be needing it.