Vibrator Myth Number One:

Myth:  A man should be able to make a woman orgasm with just his hands, tongue, or penis.

Truth:  Some women can’t have an orgasm with less than 3,000 rpm. No human tongue or fingers can generate that kind of vibration. “If the only way that a woman can achieve orgasm is with a vibrator, she’s not broken,” acclaimed sex educator, Tristan Taormino states.  “Think of a vibrator as your assistant, not your substitute. Many couples use vibrators together. “While you’re doing one thing, or two things, the vibrator can be doing something else,”

Vibrator Myth Number Two:

Myth:  You can get addicted to your vibrator.

Truth:  Okay, some of us can “feel” like we are addicted to our vibrators, but we don’t actually get addicted to them.  If you can achieve orgasm without them, you will still be able to achieve orgasm without them no matter how often you use them.

Vibrator Myth Number Three:

Myth:  A vibrator replaces the need for “real” sex.

Truth:  Absolutely not true.  Having sex with a partner fulfills many needs that a vibrator will never hold a candle to.  Emotional intimacy, physical affection from a warm body will never be replaced with a sex toy.

Now that we’ve cleared up some of the myths, let’s look at some ways to enhance sexual satisfaction by using a vibrator.

• Use a vibrator for foreplay. A woman needs a longer amount of time to warm up for sexual intercourse, using a vibrator will help warm her up faster and more thoroughly.

• Use a vibrator during oral sex. Having a vibrator for oral sex can really add some heat for a man or a woman!  Use the vibrator to stimulate her vagina, her clitoris, or anal opening while you orally attend to her.  For a man, use the vibrator up and down his penis, on his testicles, perineum and anal opening and he’ll be begging for more.

• Use a vibrator during intercourse. Most women can’t orgasm with intercourse alone.  Using a vibrator to stimulate her clitoris can really make it happen though.  Also, using the vibrator to stimulate him during intercourse, around his perineum or anal area will send him over the edge of pleasure!

Types of Vibrators

There are so many different styles and vibrators to choose from.  What works best for one person, might not do it for the other, and vice-versa.  Here is a quick run down of some of the most popular styles.  Experiment with the different styles to find the ones that will become your favorites:

• Bullet Vibrators are small multi-purpose vibes that are a favorite to many.  You can read all about them here:  How to Use a Vibrating Bullet Sex Toy.

• Penis or dildo shaped vibrators are created for optimum vaginal stimulation, the g-spot vibes add an extra benefit of stimulating the G-Spot.

• Rabbit Vibes were made popular by sex and the City.  They are phallic shaped vibrators that have an extension on them built to stimulate the clitoris simultaneously.  You can learn more about these at The Love of a Rabbit.

• MP3 Vibrators – YES!  Music lovers love these vibrators.  They vibrate on their own or along with your favorite musick on your iPod.  Learn more about these here:  We Will, We Will, Rock You!

There are also vibrating anal toys, cockrings, sponges, and more for just about every sensuous adventure you can imagine embarking on.  For pictures and more details on even more types of vibrators, check out this glossary.

Learn how to care for your vibrators by reading Take Good Care of Your Vibrators!  Stock up on some lube and batteries and have fun!

In fact for full excitement and satisfaction,nipple and breast stimulation is one of the top requirements.  Some women just can’t get excited without that kind of play.  Men’s nipples love to have some attention too.  They aren’t as sensitive as a women’s, but are still a pleasure point to be given time and consideration to.

With that in mind, the best way we’ve found to give the ultimate nipple sensations is with nipple clamps, nipple clips, and nipple tweezers. They allow a variety of pressure and stimulation, while leaving your hands free to find some other delectable activities!  They are perfect because they can be applied delicately and with as much or as little pressure as what’s desired.  So you can have very light, teasing sensations, or heavier more intense sensations depending on your moods and taste.

Let’s take a look at the different styles available:

Nipple Tweezers

Nipple Tweezers are slim and elegant, they look good and feel good when applied properly.  They clasp the nipple rather than clamping it.  These are the best choice for more gentle nipple stimulation, and as they clasp behind the nipple, it leaves the nipple free for other stimulation.  Even the air will become a pleasure tool as the nipples are perked up with tweezers.

Nipple Clamps and Nipple Clips

Nipple Clamps and nipple clips are larger than tweezers and are meant to clamp the nipple area either moderately or tightly.  They have different tension adjusting options and can be used for pleasure or delectable pain on a willing partner.  Vibrating nipple clamps can send you or your partner over the edge of delight with some amazing stimulation.

Clover Clamps/Tension Riders

Nipple tension riders, also known as clover clamps are not for the faint of heart!  The clamp has four open sections between articulated arems that will apply more and more tension as they are tugged on.  The basic pressure for these are not adjustable.  They are easy to put on and keep on though and can be some incredible teasing torture.  These are best used for someone that likes and can handle rougher play.

How to Use Nipple Clamps, Nipple Clips, and Nipple Tweezers:

If you are a beginner with nipple toys, start slow and allow yourself some time to get used to the way your nipple clamps, clips, or tweezers are adjusted.  Start with taking them on and off another, less sensitive area of your body first.  A good spot to practice with them is that part of skin between your thumb and forefinger.  Make sure and talk with your partner about how much pressure is desired and some good safe words to use to make sure it is a safe and pleasureable experience for both of you.

When you feel comfortable with how the nipple clamps, nipple clips, or nipple tweezers operate, it’s time to try them out on you or your partners nipples.  First you want to warm up the area.  Nipple toys are easiest to apply on firm, perky nipples.  So, tease away at will!  Ice cubes also work to really create some hard nipples.

When the nipples are firm and erect, you’ll want to apply the nipple clamps by grabbing as much flesh as possible, then start to use less and less to find out how the sensations focus themselves on less skin.  Never apply them directly to the nipple tips though.  This can be way too painful and could possible damage the nipple tissue.  Behind the nipples, or even behind the areola is best.  For women with extra sensitive nipples, the area directly behing the areola is usually best to focus on.

As you apply the pressure, remember you are constricting or possibly even cutting off blood supply to that area.  With that in mind, the toys shouldn’t be applied for more than ten or fifteen minutes at a time.  The next important part is knowing how to remove the clamps, clips, or tweezers.

Take note, nipple clamps, nipple clips, or nipple tweezers will have a much more intense stimulation coming off than they do going on.  Take your time and release them slowly. Sometimes loosening the adjustment and allowing them to sit like that for a moment, then gently pushing the skin away from the toy is the most gentle way to remove them.  The nipples will remain ultra sensitive after removal, so continued stimulation can be exquisite.  Even a light breath of air might be enough to send your partner into new heights of excitement at this time.

The options with nipple clamps, nipple clips, and nipple tweezers are only limited by your imagination.  You can use them along with other toys, like feathers, ice cubes, hands, tongues, lips, or vibrators to create additonal nipple sensations.  Use the toys on different areas of the body too.  Clamps work great on other sensitive body parts.

Whether you like it mild or wild, you’ll find some incredible fun with these toys. Let’s not forget the eye candy potential it provides for your parnter to see some of your most delectable areas highlighted!

Cockrings are most often used to make an erect penis harder and bigger, and to delay and heighten orgasm. They work by constricting blood flow and keep blood in the shaft of the penis. When a wearer finally does ejaculate, the sensation is more intense, since it took a longer time to come and because the penis is filled with additional blood.

A cockring should feel comfortable to wear and shouldn’t cut off circulation completely, just enough to enhance your experience.  Adjustable cockrings are the best to start with as you can tighten or loosen them at will.  The Soft Rubber Erection Ring is a great cockring for first time users.

There are metal, rubber, leather, and plastic styles.  If you choose a cock ring that is not adjustable, you want to make sure you get the right size.  One that fits too tightly could be hard to remove and could cut off circulation in the penis entirely, which is not the goal.

Metal rings can cause a rash or other skin reactions in some men, so this is something to consider when shopping around. Adjustable cock rings made of rawhide or leather straps are easier for beginners to use since the fit can be changed, and taking them off is more manageable. Avoid using cock ring substitutes; rubber bands, binder clips, and vices, for example, they could cause some very uncomfortable effects.

Cockrings fit over the shaft and the testicles/scrotum when a man is not erect.  Or, you can fit them just around the base of the penis, whichever is more comfortable and works for you.

To fit a cockring over your testicles and penis, Ball by ball, the testicles go through, then the penis shaft goes in head first through the remaining ring space. The ideal cock ring stays in place when the penis is soft, yet it can fairly easily slip off or unsnap when the penis is hard in case it becomes uncomfortable. Using lube is a good idea to help putting rings on and taking them off.

For safety and pleasure, a cock ring needs to increase the size of the erection only slightly. If you notice more pronounced swelling, then the fit is too tight. In that case, take the cock ring off immediately. It’s also vital for men to take off their cock ring at the first sign of pain or if the genitals feel cold. In addition, it’s dangerous to leave a ring on for too long, including wearing one to sleep when spontaneous erections are most likely going to occur.

Some cockrings have additional stimulating accessories, such as the Love Tapper Cockring, or cockrings that have vibrators or detachable bullets are incredible for both partners, like the Honey Bunny Cockring.  You can adjust the cock ring to where the vibrator offers the most pleasurable sensations for both of you.

If you are a man, get a cockring and practice with it by yourself when you masturbate to get used to how it feels and how to adjust it for a smoother experience with your partner.  If you are a woman, surprise your guy by slowly slipping the cockring on and starting with some oral sex to give him a thrill he won’t soon forget!

What more people want to know is how to do it, how do you introduce it to your partner, and are you a total freak for being curious and aroused by this? We promise to get to all of your questions, in this article and articles to follow. Let’s start with the very basics.

1. Bondage, obviously, is being tied up, or cuffed into hand and/or leg cuffs. Bondage can be simple, like silk straps loosely tying just your hands, or it can mean full bondage gear where you are completely bound and can’t move. The Beginner’s Bondage Kit, Beginner’s Silk Rope Bondage Kit, or the Chains of Love Bondage Kit are excellent beginner sets to start your explorations with. It’s an absolute thrill to either be tied up and “forced” to submit to what your partner has in mind for you, or to tie your partner and see them helpless and left vulnerable to your teasing and sex play. Some good tips are to make sure you don’t cut off circulation, and don’t ever leave a bound person alone. When someone is bound, it’s up to your imagination on what to do from that point. You can tickle them with feathers, whip them, lightly or not so lightly, whatever you have discussed in advance are okay things to try, let your imagination run wild and have a blast!

3. Discipline is the use of rules and punishment and rewards. It can be very fun and simple such as making your partner complete a task, maybe to put on a certain outfit when they get home from work. If they do that without being reminded, then they get a reward (Use your imagination!), if they don’t do as you asked, then they get punished, maybe an over-the-knee spanking? Again, use your imagination and create your own rules, punishment, and rewards. Make sure it’s all communicated and agreed upon ahead of time.

4. Domination is being in control, in this sense; it would be the person that is control of the other partner(s) involved, or over the “scene”. A scene is what BDSM sex play time is often called. Some partner(s) will know right off the bat who should be Dominant, and who should be submissive, and some partners will like to take turns. There are no rules, so make up your own with what you feel most turned on by. A dominant has the responsibility of taking care of their submissive(s) by making sure of their safety and not pushing their limits more than they have agreed to do, and absolutely listen to the safe word. If your submissive uses it, you must stop what you are doing immediately and spend some time talking. Much trust is given to someone in control, so make sure you are respectful of that trust. It’s up to you and your partner(s) whether you are a nice, loving dominant person, or if you get very strict and even humiliating, make sure and communicate this topic thoroughly before you begin. Whatever you decide, keep your sense of humor; remember, it’s “sex play”, not “sex work”.

5. A submissive is the partner(s) that submits to the dominant. How submissive you are willing to be, and for how long you want to be submissive is up to you and your dominant to discuss. You could be submissive by doing all sorts of different things, even cleaning the house, or being used for a footstool. Explore all the ways you might submit to your dominant and have your limits clearly set ahead of time. Submitting to your partner(s) is a gift to them, and should be pleasurable and a gift in kind to you as well.

6. Sadism refers to gaining pleasure or getting excited by causing pain or humiliation to another person. A sadist might enjoy giving light pain, such as spanking or applying nipple clamps on another person, to more extreme pain such as whipping. The main thing to remember is to stay in control and to respect the person’s limits of how much they have agreed to endure.

7. Masochists enjoy receiving pain. Not the every day painful events such as stubbing your toe, or paper cuts. We are talking about pain that comes about from agreed upon activities, such as spanking, clamps, or other pain play. It might be light pain or heavy and is up to the person to decide how much pain is pleasurable for them and how much they are willing to take.

If you want to experiment with S & M, there are no rules other than to stay Safe, Sane, and Consensual. You might want to start with light whipping, with a whip such as a Tickle Whip which allows light whipping and tickling. Have fun and see how much you can give and take with your partner. You might want to try nipple clamps or a beaded cock ring with ball harness.

We will talk more about specific techniques, tips, and tricks with BDSM scene play. In the meantime, you can pick out some great new items to try out at the HappyHer.com Bondage and Fetish Gear collections.  Make sure and sign up so you don’t miss a thing! If you have suggestions or advice for newbies, please share your stories with us!

Water based lubes are the most popular. They are the safest to use with condoms and toys. It also helps keep condoms from breaking down, making your safe sex, even safer. Water based lubes don’t stain, they are easy to clean up, and generally odorless and tasteless. The down side is that it dries up more quickly, so you need to use more of it, and it doesn’t work very well in water. I suggest everyone keep water based lube on hand for most sexual escapades.

Silicone based lubricants are the perfect lube to use in water, hot tubs, and pools. This kind of lube lasts longer and is a bit harder to clean up from than water based. It’s not good to use with silicone toys and may not be condom safe, so tread lightly with this lube.

For a yummy good time, get some flavored lubes! Most of these lubes are condom safe, and come in a surprisingly large variety of flavors. Most of them don’t stain either, so there are no worries there. They are the best for oral sex and still good for all other sex play as well. It puts a whole new twist on “finger lickin’ good!”. They do tend to be a bit sticky, so if that’s an issue for you, put a damp wash cloth close by for a quick clean-up. Wiping the flavored lube up and putting something a little less sticky on can be a part of the excitement.

Warming lubes are also great fun! They have special ingredients that will warm up when you blow or rub on them. They are subtle, so you don’t have to worry about them getting too warm or uncomfortable, it’s just enough to cause a delectable sensation. I love the warming lubes in the winter time especially.

Anal Lubes are thicker and tend to last a bit longer than other lubes. Many of them, such as Anal Eaze, contain benzocaine or similar ingredients that work as a numbing agent. There are pros and cons to these lubes. The numbing is helpful for beginners, especially when you keep things slow and easy. If you are more advanced though and get a little rough, then stay away from anything that numbs as you need to be able to feel when you need to slow down or back off.

Many lubes come in small, trial sizes to start with, so you can pick several and try them all out to see what works best for you. Have a slippery good time!